Apparently, today is National Lazy Mom’s Day! And, why not? If there can be days to celebrate every confectionery and relationship in America, why should lazy mothers be deprived? But wait, isn’t the term “lazy mom” itself an oxymoron? Are mommies allowed to be lazy? Motherhood is hard work and there’s no time to slack off. I would have been a lazy person in some other universe but as a mommy living in a highly competitive environment, I’m an epitome of efficiency, LOL! I exaggerate but that’s what’s expected of us! However, I’m sure other moms like me would appreciate the gesture if there was a holiday attached to it, a day off just for mothers and not the rest of the family…wow, that sounds like a dream, isn’t it? Alas, that would never happen and so the day is mostly useful to the retail industry as a marketing gimmick!
However, I was lucky to have the day off and hubby could spare some time too. So, I tried to relax a little — slept in late, went out for lunch and a movie, hit the gym for an hour and now playing with my son….which is of course is getting interrupted by my blogging Hence, I’ll be off now to attend to my numerous mommy duties and spend the rest of the evening trying to catch up for the time lost lazing around. Sigh!
Last weekend started off well with lots of social activities but all plans went downhill (literally) when Virj tumbled down a slope in our friend’s backyard. Luckily he only had an inch wide scrap in his left knee. I freaked out a little when he fell and am still embarrassed about it. But, Virj sprung back on his feet within minutes and spent the rest of the evening jumping around and playing with the other kids, still wearing the same swim trunks (dry of course) that he had on when he fell. He didn’t seem to even notice his band-aid covered wound.
Virj trying out the piano at our friend's place after the fall
However, all hell broke loose the next day afternoon when we tried to take him out of his jammies and change the bandage. He had a total meltdown seeing the wound and didn’t want us to touch it. He kept crying even after we changed his bandage and refused to move his leg, stand up or walk. This was a huge surprise because Virj is an extremely active and tough kid, who can’t sit still for a second. He’s also had much worse falls, bruises and cuts in the past but nothing ever dampened his spirits. Seeing him so distressed, we decided to call the after hour pediatric nurse hotline. At that point it was hard to even continue the phone conversation with the nurse while Virj howled and cried in the background. Obviously, we were asked to see a doctor immediately to rule out a fracture or an infection. So, instead of going to a birthday party, we drove up to the pediatric after hours clinic at CPMC in San Francisco to get him checked. We were relieved when the doctor diagnosed it as a minor injury. She however mentioned that Virj was probably going through a psychological trauma, this being his first experience of pain he could remember. He is at an age where fear, anxiety as well long term memory of things have started to develop.
So we’ve been following the same routine for the past 2 days — Virj stays in his jammies for most of the day, playing happily and forgetting about his pain, till it’s time to change and take a bath. Today I sent him to daycare for few hours so that he could play with the other kids and forget about the injury, which has worked well so far. Both at daycare as well as home, we are trying to cheer him up my putting stickers on his band-aid and making it look cool. Hopefully, he’ll get over this soon and we can prepare for his big day next week — first day of preschool!
I love The Onion Magazine‘s fake magazine covers. Thought this one was particularly relevant to us moms in the modern age!
The Onion Magazine cover
I remember being extremely idealistic about the childbirth process and wanted a natural birth. Obviously, living in Northern California, it is easy to get obsessed with that because everyone else is touting natural living. Unfortunately, my plans of having a water birth with the assistance of a Doula were dampened by my baby who decided to stay stubbornly in breech. My doctor tried external aversion therapy to turn him but he went right back. He’s a stubborn kind of fellow in general so, looking back, that should not have been a surprise. I ended up having a planned c-section! I was almost in tears when my doctor told me that was the only option remaining. In retrospect, I find my reaction then to be silly! Childbirth was just the beginning of a long endurance contest that is “child raising.” The mother’s body quickly recovers from the delivery but takes on even more beating during the first 3 years (and counting…???) of child rearing. Sweet god, will the sleepless nights ever end? Oh and not to mention breastfeeding!!! I did that for 15 months and hated every bit of it, primarily because I was pumping most of the time as my son weaned himself off earlier! I no longer want to be morally superior than my fellow mamas!
So what have I learnt from this? “Go with the flow!” I’m a perfectionist, so it’s extremely difficult for me to let go of my ideals but I’m learning to deal with the reality of parenting. The truth is nothing ever works like in the books but at the end what matters is having a healthy and happy family. So, my house is never perfect, my son doesn’t eat his veggies regularly and watches more TV than I would like, but somehow he’s growing like a weed and is always smiling (when not throwing tantrums)! What else can I ask for?
Fair and Lovely is the name of the leading brand of fairness cream in India! Even in the face of globalization and changing values within the society, the obsession for a whiter (lighter) skin persists. In fact, the new surge of fairness cream for men into the Indian market indicates that the epidemic is spreading to a wider demographic! Growing up in India, I was used to seeing my friends use fairness creams or fry their faces with bleach. Beauty was always associated with the color of ones skin and hence a lighter skin indicated better marriage prospects for women. However, I’m disappointed to see that Indian men are falling prey to that gimmick too. I wonder if this an indirect consequence of the global economy where our darker skinned brothers have to compete with their lighter skinned counterparts from elsewhere in the world. Unfortunately, history shows that the reverse never happens
Now there’s no need to sneak into your sister’s Fair & Lovely cream stash. Or rub talcum powder on your face (it doesn’t work unless your goal is to look like Bozo the Clown). Simply walk to your nearest paanwaala’s shop and apply away. Then proceed to walk, no, zoom up the corporate and social ladders.
Unfortunately, the stalwarts of society and the media have done little to offset this trend. To further quote Soam:
Perhaps Bollywood can make a social issue out of all this – brown skin pride and all that? It would seem to be a tailor made subject, no? Sadly, what’s happened instead is quite the opposite: masala dance numbers now prominently feature white chicks grabbed fresh from the Mumbai Airport. Home grown lovelies are no longer bleached enough. Aspirational trophy wallpaper, here we come!
I wonder what happened to the “tall, dark and handsome” hero that Bollywwod once worshipped? The trend that was started with Amitabh Bachchan, the biggest star in the history of Bollywood?
Here’s the CNN story from last September talking about the skin whitener controversy in India:
To add insult to injury, Vaseline has recently introduced a skin-lightening application for Facebook in India, enabling users to make their faces whiter in their profile pictures. Thanks to our friend, Biraj, for sending the link!
Internet match-making
And, yes, Bollywood has jumped in front of the line to promote it.
The download is designed to promote Vaseline’s range of skin-lightening creams for men, a huge and fast-growing market driven by fashion and a cultural preference for fairer skin.
The widget promises to “Transform Your Face On Facebook With Vaseline Men” in a campaign fronted by Bollywood actor Shahid Kapur, who is depicted with his face divided into dark and fair halves.
Perhaps, throwing in some cool acronyms like “dude” and “gotcha” will help its cause further. Fair and Lovely can even change its name to Fair n Luv’ly to cater to the facebooking-twittering-smsing urbanized youth!
Being a mother to an extremely fussy eater, someone who was on the verge of being sent to a feeding clinic and required a nutritionist supervised high calorie diet to get to a “normal” weight, I probably don’t need to worry about childhood obesity! However, Virj’s rapid weight gain over a year from 5 to 90 percentile, does make me worry about the future. I also hate the fact that I’m turning into a nagging mom, just like my own mother who endured a similar problem with me, constantly coaxing my son to eat. It doesn’t help when his grandparents are always commenting on him being thin. Seeing Virj eat seems be the most rewarding thing for us now! However, I wonder when would be the right time to take a step back and whether I’ll be able to do that? Can I become oblivious to his weight gain in the future or am I just being over sensitive to this issue?
The Newsweek article Parents Oblivious to Overweight Kids makes a lot of sense. Especially the quote about parents not knowing where to draw a line:
This is especially true of parents who mistakenly believe their kids are leaner than they are.
Hopefully, Virj’s genes will override his eating habits in childhood and he won’t have to worry about obesity till he’s an adult! And, then we can always blame it on his lifestyle and lecture him about our excellent dietary habits during our own heyday!
Virj's dessert—Cup of Dirt, which we ended up eating while he licked sugar.
I’m sure you can tell who’s having the real fun. We tried to capture Virj licking sugar off the table….looked like him snorting coke but that wasn’t possible with the slow shutter speed on our camera Daddy looks tired but I promised him it’d get easier next year….well, that’s what everybody tells me!
I keep returning to this topic and, judging by the recent outpouring of popular articles and TV shows, so do lots of Americans. I tweeted about it few times earlier especially after seeing the PBS Frontline documentary called Digital Nation but felt it was worthy of a blog post. The concept of multitasking dawned on me only after I came to this country along with other helpful work aids such as “Productivity!”, “Push The Envelope!”, “Work Hard!” and “Team Leader!” I observed that Americans take a lot of pride in being able to multitask continuously. One of the first things my supervisor advised me at my first job in America — “You need to be able to multitask effortlessly” she said. But of course!
I had no choice but to follow that principle for the last few years while I was in school or working at my various 9-5 jobs and pursuing my creative interests in filmmaking/acting on the side, because I was always trying to do more that I could handle. Not to say that I was happy with the feeling of being overwhelmed all the time. However, it was easier to hold my sanity doing that in my pre-mommyhood days!
However, post baby, I realize that motherhood and caring for an infant takes multitasking to whole new levels of nuttiness. Back then, I found myself juggling oodles of tasks at the same time — pumping with one hand and feeding the baby milk with the other, rocking the bouncer and trying to calm a wailing infant while calling the after care nurse triage service, feeding the baby while reading stories and grabbing a bite for myself while browsing through my emails! I have eaten baby food by mistake and almost fed my son my own dinner while trying to manage multiple spoons. I was also very proud of my one-handed typing skills while pumping breast milk! This madness did not stop at infancy – multitasking of motherhood (MoM) is continuing well into my son’s toddler years. If anything, it became even more interesting trying to juggle the mommy duties, while working, pursuing my passion in acting and holding down the fort when hubby is unavailable due to his “extremely demanding” job! Every year, there are reports of overstressed parents running off to run errands having forgotten their baby is still locked in the car, sometimes with tragic consequences. Before, I would wonder how this could happen? Now, I can understand.
I was relieved to see Digital Nation, which confirmed my belief that multitasking is not so great for our brains after all! Here’s a snippet from the video that summarizes the findings of a study conducted by Clifford Nass, a Professor at Stanford University and the founder and director of the Communication between Humans and Interactive Media (CHIMe) Lab, on a group of “multitasking” students:
Check out the DVD on Netflix, also available on instant watch.
The May issue of Women’s Health magazine had an article on this topic which I felt was particularly relevant to us ladies. It’s called How to Do One Thing at a Time and it asks us to stop multitasking! Here are some excerpts from the article:
A recent study published in the science journal NeuroImage revealed that when we attempt demanding tasks simultaneously, we end up doing neither as well as we should, because our brains have cognitive limits. We may think we’re doing two things at once, but our brains are actually toggling between them.
“A tremendous amount of evidence shows that the brain does better when it’s performing tasks in sequence, rather than all at once,” says Clifford Nass, Ph.D., a professor of communication at Stanford University. “There’s a huge cost to your concentration every time you switch gears. We still don’t know the long-term effects of chronic multitasking, but there’s no question we’re bad at it, and it’s bad for us.”
“Multitasking has long been thought to slow down and even injure the mind,” she says, “and those of us who practice Chinese medicine believe it can also injure the body.”
Doing yoga regularly has definitely helped me focus but it’s amusing to see that my fellow yogis or yoginis can’t let go off their iPhones till the last minute before class. Let’s see how long I can hold onto my zen and denounce the pressures of the “Tamasik” universe. Namaste!
The SMS/Text shortcuts seem to have become the new lexicon of the 21st century. What started off as a language of convenience is gradually taking over the English language. I often get emails written in short-form, like the following (from a very sweet friend, I should add):
Hi
recd ur msg on fb.
nice to hear from u after so long.
u must have been busy with ur lil one.
see u n da lil one soon!
S
I have to admit that I find this extremely annoying — why bother to write when you don’t have time to spell out words? I haven’t figured out a way to politely convey that to this friend of mine. Perhaps she’ll get the point when she reads this post It’s okay to use it for text messaging, for tweeting (to best utilize the 140 word-limit on Twitter) and maybe for a quick Facebook update but it’s not nice to write letters just with initials. I have also noticed that this trend is more popular in India as compared to the US — my inference is based on my experience of living in these two countries only. I’m guessing, it’s the influence of the rampant SMS culture there, which can probably translate to any heavy text using community across the globe.
This brilliant piece by an an Indian American Comedian Dalia McPhee called “What’s with all the initials?”, describes my sentiments perfectly! Here’s how it goes…
I got up and that was the good part.
Then I got on my PC to see CNN, then I IM-ed my friend JD on AOL, then my CPU went AWOL. And, JD’s all LOL, guess ur S.O.L, And, I’m LOL? LOL?, FU u SOB!!…
Check out the rest of her show along with four other talented Indian comedians on the Indian Comedy Tour DVD available on Netflix. You don’t have to be an Indian to enjoy the jokes, they are pretty universal!
A few weeks back I saw a tweet about the 2010 Parents Magazine Cover Contest and that they were accepting photo submissions from the public. As all parents of adorable kids, my first instinct was to post some pictures of Virj. I have never entered any such contests before because honestly I don’t believe it’s that simple to get selected, especially having some experience in the modeling industry. However, I had some time on my hands and thought it would be an interesting exercise. I was also curious about their marketing campaign around it. So, I went ahead and uploaded a couple of photos of Virj and one photo of us together. I was hesitant about the later but thought it might fit the parenting angle! I was right because that’s the one that got selected for the Reader’s Choice finals that leads up to the semis. Interestingly, the selection is based on voting using the Facebook “like” app. A good marketing move to engage more Facebook readers!
Anyhow, now I’m hooked and am looking forward to moving into the semi-finals and hopefully wining at the end, fingers crossed! So, please vote for us and HELP US WIN!!!! You’ve already seen the photo on this site once but I’m posting it again to refresh your memory
This is my obligatory post for Mother’s Day! Though my day was pretty awful, I had to post something to keep the tradition going
Virj was very sick over the weekend with a viral infection. He had all the symptoms of Croup — a very bad cough, runny nose and high fever. So, I pretty much spent Mother’s day taking care of him and doing my duties as a good mom! He has recovered very quickly since then though he has been throwing up his dinner every night. Not fun when that happens in the middle of the night, in bed, when everything as well as everyone needs to be scrubbed and cleaned. I hope that will stop once the cough subsides.
However, amidst all this madness, Soam made an effort to make the day a little special for me. He brought breakfast for us before we were up in the morning. My gift was a card and a margarita mix, the later was meant as a joke because of what I was going through…something that would warrant a stiff drink! We already had Tequila in stock Unlike last year, Virj was in no condition to scribble on my card this time, so it was a straight forward card from daddy signed as kiddo!
Lazy Mom’s Day!: Apparently, today is National Lazy Mom’s Day! And, why not? If there can be days to celebrate eve... http://bit.ly/aHacJw tweeted 1 day ago
Hence, I’ll be off now to attend to my numerous mommy duties and spend the rest of the evening trying to catch up for the time lost lazing around. Sigh! 
